Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
