hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
