he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize