doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
