yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Can I color on your dick again?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
