There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
