On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
