Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
A bitchslap is in order.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
