I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize