look no pants
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
