Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize