I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
