how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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