atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The uberlube is also flammable
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize