i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
