I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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