I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize