Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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