The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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