Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
