is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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