she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
