is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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