I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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