how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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