I didn't shave. On purpose
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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