I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
