when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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