My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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