i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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