He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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