soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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