You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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