So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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