I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
