addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
