The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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