Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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