Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
