would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he thought i was a dude.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She bit a glass in half.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
