I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
