i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
