What a fucking waste of an outfit
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
