You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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