Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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