I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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