So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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