He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
