Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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