he shaved USA in his pubs
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
