I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
