East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
