dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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