You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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