What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
