it glows. i had to have it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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