there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
