why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
